This is the gospel of effectiveness when arguing. And it's a really long read. So, don't start it unless you are prepared to devote at least 20 quality minutes.
It's time to rethink everything you've ever learned on persuasion since: People are driven by their gut and heart, not their reasoning, as New York University social psychologist Haidt explains in The Righteous Mind, citing research going back decades.
A great analysis on how an avoid blacks and whites approach to polarized discussions multiplies desired conclusions and results.
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